Competing Commitments 

What is a competing commitment? 

• A competing commitment is two different commitments moving in opposing directions at the same time. 

• “A competing commitment is a subconscious goal. . that contradicts [a] desired change.” (David Sehyeon Baek, “Understanding competing commitments to overcome resistance to change”https://www.sbs.ox.ac.uk/oxford-experience/blogs/david-sehyeon-baek/understanding-competing-commitments-overcome-resistance-change) 

• Examples of competing commitments: 

• Man dating 

• Stated goal: Wants to date a beautiful woman  

• Behavior: Looks at them, but he doesn’t talk to them 

• Hidden commitment: Doesn’t want to be rejected. 

• Result: Remains single. 

• Key idea: More committed to avoiding rejection than going on a date with a beautiful woman.  

• Woman dating 

• Stated goal: She wants to get married to a quality man. 

• Behavior: She doesn’t go out. 

• Hidden Commitment: She’s committed to the security of familiar social circles.  

• Result: She doesn’t meet anybody.

• Key Idea: More committed to predictable social environments than getting married.  

•  Student in school 

• Stated Goal: Wants to get good grades 

• Behavior: Procrastinates 

• Hidden Commitment: Wants the assignment to be perfect before turning it in 

• Result: Poor grades. 

• Key Idea: More committed to avoiding imperfection than doing well in school 

• Entrepreneur 

• Stated Goal: Wants to attract more clients 

• Behavior: Turns down clients 

• Hidden Commitment: Resists hiring and managing employees to meet the demand 

• Result: Business doesn’t grow 

• Key Idea: More committed to direct control than to business growth 

 

Modern Term, Ancient Concept 

• Mark 11:22–25 (ESV): 22 And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. 23 Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” 

•  Matthew 14:28–33 (ESV): 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” 32 And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. 33 And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” 

 

• James 1:5–8 (ESV): 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 

• Doubt is a competing commitment that is rooted in something deeper than the thought itself. 

Our Hearts as Gateways to Insights About Us  

And if we really want to look under the hood to see what’s going on internally, we must examine our hearts. 

The Bible demonstrates that our hearts expose our ways.  

• Psalm 14: 1 (ESV): 1 The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”. . .   
• Deuteronomy 8:17–18 (ESV): 17 Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ 18 You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day. 

 

• Obadiah 1: 3 (ESV): 3 The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, “Who will bring me down to the ground?”  

• Isaiah 14:13–14 (ESV): 13 You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God, I will set my throne on high; I will sit on the mount of assembly in the far reaches of the north; 14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.’ 
• Genesis 3:1 (ESV): 1Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 

Abraham as Case Study 

• Genesis 12:10–19 (ESV):10 Now there was a famine in the land. So, Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 When he was about to enter Egypt, he said to Sarai his wife, “I know that you are a woman beautiful in appearance, 12 and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, that it may go well with me because of you, and that my life may be spared for your sake.” 14 When Abram entered Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. 15 And when the princes of Pharaoh saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. 16 And for her sake he dealt well with Abram; and he had sheep, oxen, male donkeys, male servants, female servants, female donkeys, and camels. 17 But the Lord afflicted Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai, Abram’s wife. 18 So Pharaoh called Abram and said, “What is this you have done to me? Why did you not tell me that she was your wife? 19 Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her for my wife? Now then, here is your wife; take her, and go.” 

• Stated Goal: Father of Many Nations 

• Behavior: Giving his wife away to marry someone else 

• Hidden Commitment: Not Dying  

• Result: He lies (though God patiently works with Him to deliver him from the consequences of the lie) 

• Key Idea: He is more committed to what he can control by His own means than trusting God to protect him 

• Genesis 20:9–13 (ESV):9 Then Abimelech called Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? And how have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and my kingdom a great sin? You have done to me things that ought not to be done.” 10 And Abimelech said to Abraham, “What did you see, that you did this thing?”  11 Abraham said, “I did it because I thought, ‘There is no fear of God at all in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she is indeed my sister, the daughter of my father though not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife. 13 And when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, I said to her, ‘This is the kindness you must do me: at every place to which we come, say of me, “He is my brother.” ’ ”  

• Genesis 17:15–18 (ESV): 15 And God said to Abraham, “As for Sarai your wife, you shall not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall be her name. 16 I will bless her, and moreover, I will give you a son by her. I will bless her, and she shall become nations; kings of peoples shall come from her.” 17 Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed and said to himself, “Shall a child be born to a man who is a hundred years old? Shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?” [i.e. Competing commitment] 18 And Abraham said to God, “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!” 

• Genesis 18:9–15 (ESV): 9 They said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “She is in the tent.” 10 The Lord said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife shall have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in years. The way of women had ceased to be with Sarah. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I am worn out, and my lord is old, shall I have pleasure?” 13 The Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, now that I am old?’ 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.” 15 But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. He said, “No, but you did laugh.” 

• Romans 4:18–21 (ESV): 19 He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. 20 No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, 21 fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. 

 

• Matthew 17:19–20 (ESV): 19 Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not cast it out?” 20 He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” 

 

• Mark 5:25–29 (ESV): 25 And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, 26 and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. 27 She had heard the reports about Jesus and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. 28 For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I will be made well.” 29 And immediately the flow of blood dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. 

 

In Sum 

• Effective prayer requires that we  

• Ask earnestly in faith without doubt.