Review

Key Principle:

• God is not asking you to deny how you feel, but to honor how He thinks.
• About Everything.
• Isaiah 55:8–9 (ESV): ⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. ⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
  + Click to add your own note

The Father of Lights

• James 1:17 (ESV): ¹⁷ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
  + Click to add your own note
• Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV): ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
  + Click to add your own note

It’s All Good

• Romans 8:28 (ESV): ²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose
  + Click to add your own note

The Example of Joshua

• Joshua 1:2–3 (ESV): ² “Moses my servant is dead. Now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land that I am giving to them, to the people of Israel. ³ Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses.
  + Click to add your own note
• Joshua 1:9 (ESV): ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
  + Click to add your own note
• Joshua 5:13–14 (ESV): ¹³ When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?” ¹⁴ And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?”
  + Click to add your own note
• Joshua 2:1–6 (ESV): ¹And Joshua the son of Nun sent two men secretly from Shittim as spies, saying, “Go, view the land, especially Jericho.” And they went and came into the house of a prostitute whose name was Rahab and lodged there. ² And it was told to the king of Jericho, “Behold, men of Israel have come here tonight to search out the land.” ³ Then the king of Jericho sent to Rahab, saying, “Bring out the men who have come to you, who entered your house, for they have come to search out all the land.” ⁴ But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. And she said, “True, the men came to me, but I did not know where they were from. ⁵ And when the gate was about to be closed at dark, the men went out. I do not know where the men went. Pursue them quickly, for you will overtake them.” ⁶ But she had brought them up to the roof and hid them with the stalks of flax that she had laid in order on the roof.
  + Click to add your own note

God’s Sting Operation

• Romans 9:14–18 (ESV): ¹⁴ What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! ¹⁵ For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” ¹⁶ So then it depends not on human will or exertion, but on God, who has mercy. ¹⁷ For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” ¹⁸ So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.
  + Click to add your own note
• Daniel 2:20–23 (ESV): ²⁰ Daniel answered and said: “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. ²¹ He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; ²² he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him. ²³ To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, for you have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of you, for you have made known to us the king’s matter.”
  + Click to add your own note

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Jonah Reading Reflection Questions for Teens 

 

1. What did God tell Jonah to do? 
2. Why did Jonah run away? 
3. Jonah tried to get away from the presence of God. Is this possible? 
4. What was the result of Jonah’s disobedience? 
5. Why do you think Jonah was able to sleep through the storm? 
6. What did Jonah do to make God let Him out of the fish. 
7. How long was Jonah in the belly of the fish? 
8. What made the people of Nineveh repent? 
9. How long did it take for the people of Nineveh to repent when Jonah started preaching? 
10. Where did Jonah get his forty-day deadline from? 
11. Why was Jonah displeased? 
12. If Jonah knew so much of God’s grace and compassionate heart, why was he so surprised that God did not destroy Nineveh? 
13. What parts of the Jonah story surprised you?

 

Review

 

93 billion Light Years and Counting

God is not asking you to deny how you feel, but to honor how He thinks:

• Isaiah 55:8–9 (ESV): ⁸ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. ⁹ For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Jonah’s Attitude

Seeing the President from God’s Perspective

Does God Rig Elections?

 

• Romans 13:1 (ESV): ¹ Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Our Way of Being Right Is Inherently Flawed

• Romans 3:10–12 (ESV): ¹⁰ as it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; ¹¹ no one understands; no one seeks for God. ¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

We Need to be Constantly Reminded of God’s Thoughts

• Psalm 1:1–2 (ESV): ¹ Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; ² but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
  + Click to add your own note
• Ephesians 5:18 (ESV): ¹⁸ And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,
  + Click to add your own note
• Hebrews 10:24–25 (ESV): ²⁴ And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
  + Click to add your own note

The Limitations of Our Personal Ethical Standards

• Isaiah 5:21 (ESV): ²¹ Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes, and shrewd in their own sight!
  + Click to add your own note
• Proverbs 26:12 (ESV): ¹² Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
  + Click to add your own note
• Proverbs 3:7 (ESV): ⁷ Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
  + Click to add your own note
• Proverbs 12:15 (ESV): ¹⁵ The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
  + Click to add your own note
• Proverbs 21:2 (ESV): ² Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart.
  + Click to add your own note

Lord, Show Me Your Ways!

• Psalm 139:23–24 (ESV): ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! ²⁴ And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
  + Click to add your own note
• Psalm 119:12 (ESV): ¹² Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes!
  + Click to add your own note
• Psalm 119:18 (ESV): ¹⁸ Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.
  + Click to add your own note
• Psalm 119:24 (ESV): ²⁴ Your testimonies are my delight; they are my counselors.
  + Click to add your own note
• Psalm 103:7 (ESV): ⁷ He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel.
  + Click to add your own note
• Psalm 25:4–5 (ESV): ⁴ Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. ⁵ Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.
  + Click to add your own note

 

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Introduction

A Reminder of This Year’s Theme: Grown

Ephesians 4:11–16 (ESV): ¹¹ And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, ¹² to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, ¹³ until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, ¹⁴ so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. ¹⁵ Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

1 Timothy 4:1 (ESV): ¹ Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons,

Jonah Gets Triggered

Jonah 1:1–3 (ESV): ¹ Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, ² “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” ³ But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish away from the presence of the Lord.

“Stonewalling is way of intentionally or unintentionally, verbally or nonverbally withdrawing from a conflict. While some people stonewall on purpose to assert control or do harm, the behavior is often inadvertent.” (“Deconstructing Stonewalling” https://health.clevelandclinic.org/stonewalling-in-a-relationship)

• “ ‘You’re having a conversation and all of a sudden, the other person shuts off. Not just verbally or physically — they emotionally disengage.’ ” (“Deconstructing Stonewalling”)

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/stonewalling-in-a-relationship)–Susan Albers, Ph.d.

Jonah Goes Through the Process

Jonah 3:1–10 (ESV): ¹Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, ² “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it the message that I tell you.” ³ So Jonah arose and went to Nineveh, according to the word of the Lord. Now Nineveh was an exceedingly great city, three days’ journey in breadth. ⁴ Jonah began to go into the city, going a day’s journey. And he called out, “Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown!” ⁵ And the people of Nineveh believed God. They called for a fast and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them to the least of them.⁶ The word reached the king of Nineveh, and he arose from his throne, removed his robe, covered himself with sackcloth, and sat in ashes. ⁷ And he issued a proclamation and published through Nineveh, “By the decree of the king and his nobles: Let neither man nor beast, herd nor flock, taste anything. Let them not feed or drink water, ⁸ but let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and let them call out mightily to God. Let everyone turn from his evil way and from the violence that is in his hands. ⁹ Who knows? God may turn and relent and turn from his fierce anger, so that we may not perish.” ¹⁰ When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil way, God relented of the disaster that he had said he would do to them, and he did not do it.

Jonah 4:1–11 (ESV): ¹But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. ² And he prayed to the Lord and said, “O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.

Jonah 4:3-4 (ESV): ³ Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” ⁴ And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?”

Jonah 4:5-11 (ESV): ⁵ Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. ⁶ Now the Lord God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. ⁷ But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered. ⁸ When the sun rose, God appointed a scorching east wind, and the sun beat down on the head of Jonah so that he was faint. And he asked that he might die and said, “It is better for me to die than to live.” ⁹ But God said to Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry for the plant?” And he said, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” ¹⁰ And the Lord said, “You pity the plant, for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perished in a night. ¹¹ And should not I pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know their right hand from their left, and also much cattle?”

 

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

 

PRAISE CURE     

              

Acts 16:25-26

(25) But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying AND singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. 

(26) Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed.”

Praise keeps our heart and mind in a place of peace

• That is where wisdom flows
• From a place of peace 

What Gods says about wisdom?

Proverbs 3:17

Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

Isaiah 26: 3

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: “because he trusteth” in thee.

2 Chronicles 20:12-30

(12) O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power against this great multitude that is coming against us; nor do we know what to do, “but our eyes are upon You.” 

(13) Now all Judah, with their little ones, their wives, and their children, stood before the Lord. 

(14) Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, in the midst of the assembly. 

(15) And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. 

(16) Tomorrow go down against them. They will surely come up by the Ascent of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the brook before the Wilderness of Jeruel. 

(17) You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.” 

(18) And Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem bowed before the Lord, worshiping the Lord. 

(19) Then the Levites of the children of the Kohathites and of the children of the Korahites stood up to praise the Lord God of Israel WITH VOICES LOUD AND HIGH. 

(20) So they rose early in the morning and went out into the Wilderness of Tekoa; and as they went out, Jehoshaphat stood AND SAID, “Hear me, O Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem: Believe in the Lord your God, and you shall be established; believe His prophets, and you shall prosper.” 

(21) And when he had consulted with the people, he appointed those who should sing to the Lord, and who should praise the beauty of holiness, as they went out before the army and were saying: “Praise the Lord, For His mercy endures forever.” 

(22) Now when they began to sing and to praise, the Lord set ambushes against the people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah; and they were defeated.

(23)  For the people of Ammon and Moab stood up against the inhabitants of Mount Seir to utterly kill and destroy them. And when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, they helped to destroy one another. 

(24) So when Judah came to a place overlooking the wilderness, they looked toward the multitude; and there were their dead bodies, fallen on the earth. No one had escaped.  

(27)  Then they returned, every man of Judah and Jerusalem, with Jehoshaphat in front of them, to go back to Jerusalem with joy, for the Lord had made them rejoice over their enemies. 

(28) So they came to Jerusalem, with stringed instruments and harps and trumpets, to the house of the Lord. 

(29) And the fear of God was on all the kingdoms of those countries when they heard that the Lord had fought against the enemies of Israel. 

(30) Then the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around.”

Much of what we need in life will come in a place of praise. Let praise continually be on your lips.

 

Psalm 34:1

I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.

© Bishop Ed. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

 

Introduction

Today’s sermon is in response to two things:

1. The nature of the win
2. The public’s response to the win

This series will do three things:

1. Process what happened emotionally.
2. Provide spiritual direction for the present.
3. Prepare for large-scale changes in the future.

Galatians 5:26 (ESV): ²⁶ Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

Job 31:29–30 (NLT): ²⁹ “Have I ever rejoiced when disaster struck my enemies, or become excited when harm came their way? ³⁰ No, I have never sinned by cursing anyone or by asking for revenge.

Obadiah 12 (ESV): But do not gloat over the day of your brother in the day of his misfortune; do not rejoice over the people of Judah in the day of their ruin; do not boast in the day of distress.

Romans 12:15 (ESV): ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

Proverbs 24:17–18 (ESV): ¹⁷ Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, ¹⁸ lest the Lord see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.

A Season of Grieving

Ecclesiastes 3:1–4 (ESV): ¹ For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: ² a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; ³ a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; ⁴ a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

What is Grief?

Statements from The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling

• “Grief is intense emotional suffering caused by a loss.”
• “Grieving is. . . .a lingering process.”
• “[Grieving] is a healing journey that can last anywhere from one to three years, and for some a lifetime.”
• “Some people never get through the process of grieving.”
• “Grief is actually a complex set of emotions, all of which are ‘normal.’”
• People who are grieving may experience their loss psychologically through feelings, thoughts, and attitudes; socially as they interact with others; and physically as it affects their health.
• Often friends don’t know how to help someone who is grieving and may try to “cheer him up” or “get her mind off her loss.”
• “This can actually add to the burden as the person who is grieving has to either avoid friends or ‘fake it’ rather than have the chance to share his or her true feelings.”
• “Sometimes loss is cumulative and awakens memories of early losses that were never fully grieved.”

Grieving in the Old Testament

Genesis 23:1–2 (ESV): ¹ Sarah lived 127 years; these were the years of the life of Sarah. ² And Sarah died at Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

Genesis 24:67 (ESV): ⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

Genesis 45:1–2 (ESV): ¹ Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him. He cried, “Make everyone go out from me.” So no one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. ² And he wept aloud, so that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard it.

Genesis 50: 1-3 (ESV): ¹ Then Joseph fell on his father’s face and wept over him and kissed him. ² And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father. So the physicians embalmed Israel. ³ Forty days were required for it, for that is how many are required for embalming. And the Egyptians wept for him seventy days.

Numbers 20:29 (ESV): ²⁹ And when all the congregation saw that Aaron had perished, all the house of Israel wept for Aaron thirty days.

Deuteronomy 34:8 (ESV): ⁸ And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.

Deuteronomy 21:10–13 (ESV): ¹⁰ “When you go out to war against your enemies, and the Lord your God gives them into your hand and you take them captive, ¹¹ and you see among the captives a beautiful woman, and you desire to take her to be your wife, ¹² and you bring her home to your house, she shall shave her head and pare her nails. ¹³ And she shall take off the clothes in which she was captured and shall remain in your house and lament her father and her mother a full month. After that you may go in to her and be her husband, and she shall be your wife.

The Grieving of Jesus

John 11:32–36 (ESV): ³² Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” ³³ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. ³⁴ And he said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to him, “Lord, come and see.” ³⁵ Jesus wept. ³⁶ So the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

Matthew 14:13 (ESV): ¹³ Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns.

Luke 19:41–44 (ESV): ⁴¹ And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, ⁴² saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. ⁴³ For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side ⁴⁴ and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.”

Matthew 26:38 (ESV): ³⁸ Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.”

Luke 22:44–45 (ESV): ⁴⁴ And being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. ⁴⁵ And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow,

Grieving in a Godly way

Luke 23:28 (ESV): ²⁸ But turning to them Jesus said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children.

Matthew 5:4 (ESV): ⁴ “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

2 Corinthians 1:3 (ESV): ³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,

2 Corinthians 1:4 (ESV): ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:4 (ESV): ⁵ For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

How do we share in Christ’s sufferings?

• Sanctification is an ongoing process that conforms your body, heart and mind to Christ.
• The process of sanctification is the process of Christ being formed in us.
• 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (ESV): ¹³ But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.
  + Click to add your own note

Hebrews 12:27–29 (ESV): ²⁷ This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. ²⁸ Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, ²⁹ for our God is a consuming fire.

• Hosea 6:1 (ESV): ¹ “Come, let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up.
  • Learn more from Dr. Hart Ramsey’s sermon: “The Wounding of the Lord”: https://youtu.be/xoOD67A3s4Y?si=xi_mtvLAb2EVrZnw
    + Click to add your own note
• 2 Corinthians 7:8–9 (ESV): ⁸ For even if I made you grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for a while. ⁹ As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us.
  + Click to add your own note
• Hebrews 4:14–16 (ESV): ¹⁴ Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
  + Click to add your own note

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Introduction

Bishop’s Vision for Church Growth

Discipleship Helps Us Grow

• Matthew 28:19 (ESV): ¹⁹ Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Discipleship is Christ being formed in me and God using my life to form Christ in someone else.

• Galatians 4:19 (ESV): ¹⁹ my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!

Discipleship Is a Perpetual Construction Project

• Matthew 16:17–18 (ESV): ¹⁸ And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.

The church is built.

The same Christ that is being formed in us is the corner stone of the spiritual house God is building.

A Building of Living Stones

• 1 Peter 2:4-5 (ESV): ⁴ As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, ⁵ you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
  • Christ is the foundational stone and because He’s being formed in us.
  • We also become living stones, building blocks for God’s spiritual house.
    + Click to add your own note
• Ephesians 4:11–12 (ESV): ¹¹ And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, ¹² to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ,
  + Click to add your own note
• Ephesians 4:16 (ESV): ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.
  + Click to add your own note

What does it look like when God’s house is being built?

• Acts 2:42–47 (ESV): ⁴² And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. ⁴³ And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. ⁴⁴ And all who believed were together and had all things in common. ⁴⁵ And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. ⁴⁶ And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.
  + Click to add your own note

Build It and They Will Come

God Uses Visual Aids

The progress of the physical building project is one of the barometers of the progress of our spiritual building project.

Israel’s Renovation Project

Ezra 1:1 (ESV): ¹In the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, that the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah might be fulfilled, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia, so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom and also put it in writing:

Ezra 1:2 (ESV): ² “Thus says Cyrus king of Persia: The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth, and he has charged me to build him a house at Jerusalem, which is in Judah.

Ezra 1:3 (ESV): ³ Whoever is among you of all his people, may his God be with him, and let him go up to Jerusalem, which is in Judah, and rebuild the house of the Lord, the God of Israel—he is the God who is in Jerusalem.

Ezra 1:4 (ESV): ⁴ And let each survivor, in whatever place he sojourns, be assisted by the men of his place with silver and gold, with goods and with beasts, besides freewill offerings for the house of God that is in Jerusalem.”2 Corinthians 9:7 (ESV): ⁷ Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

• Ezra 4:4–5 (ESV): ⁴ Then the people of the land discouraged the people of Judah and made them afraid to build ⁵ and bribed counselors against them to frustrate their purpose, all the days of Cyrus king of Persia, even until the reign of Darius king of Persia.
• Matthew 13:22 (ESV): ²² As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.
• Ezra 4:24 (ESV): ²⁴ Then the work on the house of God that is in Jerusalem stopped, and it ceased until the second year of the reign of Darius king of Persia.
• Haggai 1:2–11 (ESV): ² “Thus says the Lord of hosts: These people say the time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.” ³ Then the word of the Lord came by the hand of Haggai the prophet, ⁴ “Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins? ⁵ Now, therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways. ⁶ You have sown much, and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes. ⁷ “Thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways. ⁸ Go up to the hills and bring wood and build the house, that I may take pleasure in it and that I may be glorified, says the Lord. ⁹ You looked for much, and behold, it came to little. And when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why? declares the Lord of hosts. Because of my house that lies in ruins, while each of you busies himself with his own house. ¹⁰ Therefore the heavens above you have withheld the dew, and the earth has withheld its produce. ¹¹ And I have called for a drought on the land and the hills, on the grain, the new wine, the oil, on what the ground brings forth, on man and beast, and on all their labors.”
• Haggai 2:4–5 (ESV): ⁴ Yet now be strong, O Zerubbabel, declares the Lord. Be strong, O Joshua, son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people of the land, declares the Lord. Work, for I am with you, declares the Lord of hosts, ⁵ according to the covenant that I made with you when you came out of Egypt. My Spirit remains in your midst. Fear not.
• Haggai 2:9 (ESV): ⁹ The latter glory of this house shall be greater than the former, says the Lord of hosts. And in this place I will give peace, declares the Lord of hosts.’ ”

One Vision, One Voice

Acts 4:32 (ESV): ³² Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common.

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Review

• Enjoy your single life (in the Lord).
• Treat ordinary people well.
• Secure a quality group of friends, acquaintances and advisors.
• Take dating life seriously.
• Spend quality time with people from your local church on a regular basis.

Making Church Matter Relationally

Be Doers and Not Just Hearers

 

James 1:22–25 (ESV): ²² But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. ²³ For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. ²⁴ For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. ²⁵ But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

Private Revelation and Public Accountability

1 Corinthians 14:2–5 (ESV): ² For one who speaks in a tongue speaks not to men but to God; for no one understands him, but he utters mysteries in the Spirit. ³ On the other hand, the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. ⁴ The one who speaks in a tongue builds up himself, but the one who prophesies builds up the church. ⁵ Now I want you all to speak in tongues, but even more to prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless someone interprets, so that the church may be built up.

1 Corinthians 14:26–29 (ESV): ²⁶ What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up. ²⁷ If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. ²⁸ But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God. ²⁹ Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said.

1 Corinthians 14:29 (NASB95): 29 Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others pass judgment.

Romans 15:1–2 (ESV): ¹ We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. ² Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

Galatians 6:1–2 (ESV): ¹Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. ² Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Hebrews 10:24–25 (ESV): ²⁴ And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, ²⁵ not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Titus 2:2–6 (ESV): ² Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. ³ Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, ⁴ and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. ⁶ Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

• “High-value women can reject attention all day, every day. Compliments mean nothing. Attention means nothing because they look for something more valuable than that. And they know that talk is cheap. So high-value women: . . . you can’t buy them, and you can’t get them through just words. They have to be attracted to who you are as a human being. So, if you are a man who is such a mess, and you’ve got no self-control. You’ve got nothing going on in your life and you’ve got a beautiful woman, she’s still not high-value [be]cause if she was truly high-value, she wouldn’t have selected you. High-value women would be looking at your choices in your life and they would be choosing a man who makes really good decisions, has really good self-control, treats her really well, so they have (a) really high selection process. . .They take care of themselves, they have a really high selection process and you can’t buy them through attention and money.”–Sadia Khan (https://youtube.com/shorts/wnv3OkKbZiY?si=-nvRk8Dt48-rxHi1)

Galatians 4:19 (ESV): ¹⁹ my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!

Matthew 13:22 (ESV): ²² As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.

Resources

1. Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships (Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend)
2. Four Things Women Want from a Man (Dr. A.R. Bernard)

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

 

 

Review

• Enjoy your single life (in the Lord).
• Treat ordinary people well.
• Secure a quality group of friends, acquaintances and advisors.
• Take dating life seriously.

Dating Tips from Isaac and Rebekah

1. Invite God into the dating experience before you create a strong attachment with the person you’re dating.
   • Genesis 24:12 (ESV): ¹² And he said, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham.
   + Click to add your own note
2. Get counsel from wise people before you create a strong attachment with the person you’re dating.
   • Genesis 24:2-4 (ESV): ² And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had. . . . ⁴ but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.”
   + Click to add your own note
3. Base the criteria for choosing a spouse on values, not visuals.
   • Genesis 24:3 (ESV): ³ that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell,
   • Dating is an interview process for a prospective spouse.
   + Click to add your own note
4. Make your intentions known early.
   • Genesis 24:33 (ESV): ³³ Then food was set before him to eat. But he said, “I will not eat until I have said what I have to say.” He said, “Speak on.
     + Click to add your own note
   •    Genesis 24:49 (ESV): ⁴⁹ Now then, if you are going to show steadfast love and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.”
     + Click to add your own note
5. Put the practical things in place that will support a marriage.
   • Genesis 24:22 (ESV): ²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels, ²³ and said, “Please tell me whose daughter you are. 
   • You shouldn’t date if you’re not willing to engage in significant personal growth.
     + Click to add your own note

More to Isaac’s and Rebekah’s Marriage Story

Genesis 24:50-67 (ESV):

⁵⁰ Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing has come from the Lord; we cannot speak to you bad or good. ⁵¹ Behold, Rebekah is before you; take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has spoken.” ⁵² When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the earth before the Lord. ⁵³ And the servant brought out jewelry of silver and of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave to her brother and to her mother costly ornaments. ⁵⁴ And he and the men who were with him ate and drank, and they spent the night there. When they arose in the morning, he said, “Send me away to my master.” ⁵⁵ Her brother and her mother said, “Let the young woman remain with us a while, at least ten days; after that she may go.” ⁵⁶ But he said to them, “Do not delay me, since the Lord has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.” ⁵⁷ They said, “Let us call the young woman and ask her.” ⁵⁸ And they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will go.” ⁵⁹ So they sent away Rebekah their sister and her nurse, and Abraham’s servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you become thousands of ten thousands, and may your offspring possess the gate of those who hate him!” ⁶¹ Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his way. ⁶² Now Isaac had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negeb. ⁶³ And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming. ⁶⁴ And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel ⁶⁵ and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. ⁶⁶ And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. ⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

The Spiritual Power of Families

Galatians 3:7–9 (ESV): ⁷ Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham. ⁸ And the Scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the Gentiles by faith, preached the gospel beforehand to Abraham, saying, “In you shall all the nations be blessed.” ⁹ So then, those who are of faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith.

• Blessings are shared through families.

Genesis 12:1–3 (ESV): ¹Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. ² And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Surrogate Families

When you become a believer, you inherit a family.

Mark 10:29–31 (ESV): ²⁹ Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, ³⁰ who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. ³¹ But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

1 Corinthians 4:15 (ESV): ¹⁵ For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

2 Timothy 1:2–5 (ESV): ² To Timothy, my beloved child: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. ³ I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. ⁴ As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. ⁵ I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Review

1. Enjoy your single life (in the Lord)
2. Treat ordinary people well
3. Fortify your friendships, advisors and acquaintances
4. Take dating seriously

This History of Marriage

The Benefits of Arranged Marriages

From “The Practice of Arranged Marriages Among Christians in India” on The Gospel Coalition Website (https://in.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-practice-of-arranged-marriages-among-christians-in-india/#:~:text=The%20Bible%20does%20not%20prescribe,view%20marriage%20and%20family%20arrangements.)

1. Social and Family Support: Families play a significant role in matchmaking, providing security and stability.
2. Compatibility Assessment: Families consider factors such as values, beliefs, and backgrounds when arranging marriages.
3. Cultural Preservation: Encouraging marriages within the same cultural or religious background preserves traditions and values.
4. Potential Financial Stability: Shared resources and support from extended family networks can offer financial stability.

The Drawbacks of Arranged Marriages

1. Lack of Personal Choice: Individuals may feel pressured to marry someone their families have chosen, limiting autonomy and happiness.
2. Limited Personal Compatibility Assessment: If you prioritize broader compatibility over personal compatibility, it will lead to mismatched expectations.
3. Potential Conflicts: Differences in expectations, values, or personalities can become pronounced, causing dissatisfaction and conflicts.

A Biblical Example of Arraigned Marriage

Genesis 24:1–67 (ESV): ¹ Now Abraham was old, well advanced in years. And the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. ² And Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he had, “Put your hand under my thigh, ³ that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell, ⁴ but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac ⁵ The servant said to him, “Perhaps the woman may not be willing to follow me to this land. Must I then take your son back to the land from which you came?” ⁶ Abraham said to him, “See to it that you do not take my son back there. ⁷ The Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, ‘To your offspring I will give this land,’ he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. ⁸ But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there.” ⁹ So the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master and swore to him concerning this matter. ¹⁰ Then the servant took ten of his master’s camels and departed, taking all sorts of choice gifts from his master; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia to the city of Nahor. ¹¹ And he made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time when women go out to draw water. ¹² And he said, “O Lord, God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today and show steadfast love to my master Abraham. ¹³ Behold, I am standing by the spring of water, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. ¹⁴ Let the young woman to whom I shall say, ‘Please let down your jar that I may drink,’ and who shall say, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels’—let her be the one whom you have appointed for your servant Isaac. By this I shall know that you have shown steadfast love to my master.” ¹⁵ Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, came out with her water jar on her shoulder. ¹⁶ The young woman was very attractive in appearance, a maiden whom no man had known. She went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up. ¹⁷ Then the servant ran to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water to drink from your jar.” ¹⁸ She said, “Drink, my lord.” And she quickly let down her jar upon her hand and gave him a drink. ¹⁹ When she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw water for your camels also, until they have finished drinking.” ²⁰ So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough and ran again to the well to draw water, and she drew for all his camels. ²¹ The man gazed at her in silence to learn whether the Lord had prospered his journey or not. ²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half shekel, and two bracelets for her arms weighing ten gold shekels, ²³ and said, “Please tell me whose daughter you are. Is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?” ²⁴ She said to him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor.” ²⁵ She added, “We have plenty of both straw and fodder, and room to spend the night.” ²⁶ The man bowed his head and worshiped the Lord ²⁷ and said, “Blessed be the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken his steadfast love and his faithfulness toward my master. As for me, the Lord has led me in the way to the house of my master’s kinsmen.” ²⁸ Then the young woman ran and told her mother’s household about these things. ²⁹ Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban. Laban ran out toward the man, to the spring. ³⁰ As soon as he saw the ring and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and heard the words of Rebekah his sister, “Thus the man spoke to me,” he went to the man. And behold, he was standing by the camels at the spring. ³¹ He said, “Come in, O blessed of the Lord. Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.” ³² So the man came to the house and unharnessed the camels, and gave straw and fodder to the camels, and there was water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him. ³³ Then food was set before him to eat. But he said, “I will not eat until I have said what I have to say.” He said, “Speak on.” ³⁴ So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. ³⁵ The Lord has greatly blessed my master, and he has become great. He has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male servants and female servants, camels and donkeys. ³⁶ And Sarah my master’s wife bore a son to my master when she was old, and to him he has given all that he has. ³⁷ My master made me swear, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell, ³⁸ but you shall go to my father’s house and to my clan and take a wife for my son.’ ³⁹ I said to my master, ‘Perhaps the woman will not follow me.’ ⁴⁰ But he said to me, ‘The Lord, before whom I have walked, will send his angel with you and prosper your way. You shall take a wife for my son from my clan and from my father’s house. ⁴¹ Then you will be free from my oath, when you come to my clan. And if they will not give her to you, you will be free from my oath.’ ⁴² “I came today to the spring and said, ‘O Lord, the God of my master Abraham, if now you are prospering the way that I go, ⁴³ behold, I am standing by the spring of water. Let the virgin who comes out to draw water, to whom I shall say, “Please give me a little water from your jar to drink,” ⁴⁴ and who will say to me, “Drink, and I will draw for your camels also,” let her be the woman whom the Lord has appointed for my master’s son.’ ⁴⁵ “Before I had finished speaking in my heart, behold, Rebekah came out with her water jar on her shoulder, and she went down to the spring and drew water. I said to her, ‘Please let me drink.’ ⁴⁶ She quickly let down her jar from her shoulder and said, ‘Drink, and I will give your camels drink also.’ So I drank, and she gave the camels drink also. ⁴⁷ Then I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ She said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him.’ So I put the ring on her nose and the bracelets on her arms. ⁴⁸ Then I bowed my head and worshiped the Lord and blessed the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who had led me by the right way to take the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son. ⁴⁹ Now then, if you are going to show steadfast love and faithfulness to my master, tell me; and if not, tell me, that I may turn to the right hand or to the left.” ⁵⁰ Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, “The thing has come from the Lord; we cannot speak to you bad or good. ⁵¹ Behold, Rebekah is before you; take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has spoken.” ⁵² When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the earth before the Lord. ⁵³ And the servant brought out jewelry of silver and of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah. He also gave to her brother and to her mother costly ornaments. ⁵⁴ And he and the men who were with him ate and drank, and they spent the night there. When they arose in the morning, he said, “Send me away to my master.” ⁵⁵ Her brother and her mother said, “Let the young woman remain with us a while, at least ten days; after that she may go.” ⁵⁶ But he said to them, “Do not delay me, since the Lord has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.” ⁵⁷ They said, “Let us call the young woman and ask her.” ⁵⁸ And they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” She said, “I will go.” ⁵⁹ So they sent away Rebekah their sister and her nurse, and Abraham’s servant and his men. ⁶⁰ And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you become thousands of ten thousands, and may your offspring possess the gate of those who hate him!” ⁶¹ Then Rebekah and her young women arose and rode on the camels and followed the man. Thus the servant took Rebekah and went his way. ⁶² Now Isaac had returned from Beer-lahai-roi and was dwelling in the Negeb. ⁶³ And Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening. And he lifted up his eyes and saw, and behold, there were camels coming. ⁶⁴ And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from the camel ⁶⁵ and said to the servant, “Who is that man, walking in the field to meet us?” The servant said, “It is my master.” So she took her veil and covered herself. ⁶⁶ And the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. ⁶⁷ Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

The Spiritual Power of Families

Genesis 12:1–3 (ESV): ¹Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. ² And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. ³ I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonors you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Surrogate Families

Mark 10:29–31 (ESV): ²⁹ Jesus said, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, ³⁰ who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. ³¹ But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”

1 Corinthians 4:15 (ESV): ¹⁵ For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.

2 Timothy 1:2–5 (ESV): ² To Timothy, my beloved child: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. ³ I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors, with a clear conscience, as I remember you constantly in my prayers night and day. ⁴ As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. ⁵ I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024

Introduction

Ephesians 4:11–16 (ESV)

¹¹ And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, ¹² to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, ¹³ until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, ¹⁴ so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. ¹⁵ Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

Growth is a collective project.

Not only do we grow together, but other people help us grow.

The foundation of our growth is spiritual, but its scope is holistic.

Growth in our spiritual lives affects the quality of our intellectual lives, our cultural lives, our emotional lives, our social lives—which includes dating.

Who you date and how you date is a reflection of your spiritual maturity.

Among other things, your dating life exposes what you think about love, sex and marriage.

Review

The Sacredness of Singleness

• An invitation to embrace the high call of the single life and to enjoy its joy, peace and contentment.

Ordinary People

• An appeal to compel you to treat ordinary people with dignity, respect and honor.
• How you treat ordinary people is an indication of how you will treat special people. (like people you date and marry)

But there is a level before that.

There are categories of special people that come before romantic partners and spouses.

Friends, Associates, Acquaintances and Advisors

The quality and status of your friends, acquaintances and advisors affect the quality of your life.

Choose Your Friends Carefully

Proverbs 12:26 (ESV): ²⁶ One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

Proverbs 12:26 (NIV): ²⁶ The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.

1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV): ³³ Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

• Proverbs 18:24 (ESV): ²⁴ A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

• Proverbs 18:24 (NIV): ²⁴ One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. 
  • • Psalm 1:1–3 (ESV): ¹Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; ² but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. ³ He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. 
      • Luke 7:35 (ESV): ³⁵ Yet wisdom is justified by all her children.”
      • You want to fortify your friendships.

Influence Can Be Progressive

Proverbs 1:8–19 (ESV): ⁸ Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, ⁹ for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck. ¹⁰ My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. ¹¹ If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait for blood; let us ambush the innocent without reason; ¹² like Sheol let us swallow them alive, and whole, like those who go down to the pit; ¹³ we shall find all precious goods, we shall fill our houses with plunder; ¹⁴ throw in your lot among us; we will all have one purse” ¹⁵ my son, do not walk in the way with them; hold back your foot from their paths, ¹⁶ for their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood. ¹⁷ For in vain is a net spread in the sight of any bird, ¹⁸ but these men lie in wait for their own blood; they set an ambush for their own lives. ¹⁹ Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain; it takes away the life of its possessors.

James 4:4 (ESV): ⁴ You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Good Friends Tell You the Truth

Proverbs 27:5–6 (ESV): ⁵ Better is open rebuke than hidden love. ⁶ Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:5–6 (NIV): ⁵ Better is open rebuke than hidden love. ⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 12:5 (ESV): ⁵ The thoughts of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:17 (ESV): ¹⁷ Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Consider Acquaintances

Attitudes and mindsets are contagious.

Proverbs 22:24–25 (ESV): ²⁴ Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, ²⁵ lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

Learn How to Take Advice

Proverbs 14:12 (ESV): ¹² There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.

Proverbs 12:15 (ESV): ¹⁵ The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 28:26 (ESV): ²⁶ Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

Ecclesiastes 4:13 (ESV): ¹³ Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice.

Proverbs 27:9 (ESV): ⁹ Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Proverbs 11:14 (ESV): ¹⁴ Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 19:20 (ESV): ²⁰ Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Proverbs 24:5–6 (ESV): ⁵ A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might, ⁶ for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2024