The Blessing of Masculinity

Introduction

Battle of the Fathers

Our life is lived in a war between two fathers: The Father of Lights and the father of lies.

• The Father of lights is described by James.
  • James 1:17 (ESV) – ¹⁷ Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
    • Everything good in life comes from your heavenly Father.
    • Prayer is based upon the concept of Father.
• The father of lies is described by John:
  • John 8:43–44 (ESV) – ⁴³ Why do you not understand what I say? It is because you cannot bear to hear my word. ⁴⁴ You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
    • Satan means adversary, but devil means slanderer.
      • To slander means to make false statements for the purpose of damaging someone’s reputation.

The World’s View of Masculinity

Dictionary Definition of Toxic Masculinity: “a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole.”

A Godly Vision for Masculinity

What is Masculinity at its Highest Level?

1. Maturity
2. Decisiveness
3. Consistency
4. Strength

(A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man)

Maturity

“Maturity doesn’t begin with age; it begins with the acceptance of responsibility” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 83)

“We don’t begin to mature until we accept personal responsibility for our words, our thoughts, our motives, and our attitudes” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 86).

Genesis 2:15 (ESV) – ¹⁵ The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.

• The first thing God gave Eve was a relationship. The first thing God gave Adam was responsibility.
• Responsibility begins from the inside out, not the outside in.
• Responsibility begins by looking inward but is not complete until we also start looking outward.
• A real man is constantly expanding his scope of responsibility.
• A real man sees his responsibility as everything in his sphere of influence, not just what his job description says or what he’s told to do.

Decisiveness

A real man “makes quality decisions quickly and confidently” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 107).

“Decisiveness is insight in action” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 107).

Genesis 2:19 (ESV) – ¹⁹ Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.

• A real man makes decisions based on principles, which means he decides before he decides.
• A principle is an eternal standard that makes you clear about what is true.
• Once you know what’s true, decisions are easy because after that, you only need the courage to act.

Consistency

“Consistency. . . .is the ability to make mature quality decisions time and again” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 141).

Genesis 2:15 (ESV) – ¹⁵ The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.

• “A man’s consistency is what gives a woman security” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 143).
• “Our women observe us carefully, cautiously, and continually” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 143).
• “Your woman knows your patterns of behavior, your patterns of language, and your patterns of decision making. Whenever you break any one of those patterns, you can be sure of two things: first, your woman has already noticed. And second, she wants to know why” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 143).
• You (the man) are the first domino and set the tone with your consistency or inconsistency.

Strength

“Strength. . .is the courage to live out your convictions in spite of what the crowd is doing” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 162).

Genesis 2:16-17 (ESV) – ¹⁶ And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, ¹⁷ but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

• “In today’s world, genuine strength is a matter of integrity, not physicality” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 162). [I Timothy 4:8 (ESV) – ⁸ for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.]
• “For a man to possess real strength, he must learn the art of self-control” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 168).
• Proverbs 25:28 – ²⁸ A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.
• “A [real] man’s strength is demonstrated by his kindness and his gentleness” (A.R. Bernard, Four Things Woman Want From A Man, 168). [Proverbs 12:10 – ¹⁰ Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.]
  • How a man treats those he perceives to be weaker than him says a lot about him

Additional Resources

Four Things Woman Want From A Man by A.R. Bernard

YouTube/Google: “Pastor A. R. Bernard Interview at The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 (05/05/2016)” OR https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFoAt4oDUWE

YouTube/Google: “A.R. Bernard Breaks Down Traits of a REAL MAN; Keys to a Healthy Relationship” OR https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb8PeIRB0dU

© Joshua D. Smith, Ph.D., 2023